Thursday, December 13, 2012

My Time at PokerListings

Before I leave for Borneo, I had an idea for a post.  About four years ago, I got an email from someone from pokerlistings who basically said that they liked my blog and wanted me to do "comedy" posts.  For free.  Doing something for nothing--it seemed like a great idea!  So I said yes.

I think I made four articles for them.  They were not funny.  Also, some mystery editor kept changing my lines--they were probably too offensive.  The problem was that the changes kept taking away even more the humor.  After I got annoyed enough, I stopped sending them stuff.

So anyhoo, I can't access them here in the UAE.  Pokerlistings is banned here, apparently.  But here are the links.

(By the way, they wanted a picture of me for each article.  I said, "No way."  They insisted, so I said, "Just use the picture of the goofiest looking poker player that you can find online."  So that long haired dude that you see in the article?  He ain't me.  I look much goofier.)

"Developing the Steel Trap of a Micro Grinder"

"Transforming Pennies into Nickels without Black Magic"

"Poker's Egyptian Origins"

"Ish at the Deuce"

Happy Holidays!

Monday, December 3, 2012

Scenario of the Undressing--Then Dressing--Man

I asked a female friend yesterday what she would do if the following scenario happened to her.

Here it is:

She is sitting alone in her office at work.  A male colleague walks into her office and casually says, "Hi, how are you doing?" or something of that nature.  She gives the typical response, "I'm fine.  How are you?"  Then he starts asking her questions about work--"What should we do if this situation occurs?"  "What should our plans be for the coming weeks?"  Basic stuff.  And she answers him--again--in a typical way.

Soon, however, he begins to undress.  But he does it without losing his casual conversational tone.  He takes off his shirt and asks her about the upcoming meeting.  He takes off his shoes, socks, and pants as he makes a comment about their new boss.  As he removes his underwear, he mentions the weather.

Until finally he is completely naked and talking to her in the most casual, normal way about the chances this upcoming season of the local sports team.

As the conversation continues, he would gradually start putting his clothes back on until, his belt buckled and his last button buttoned, he'd say, "Talk to you later!" in a cheery tone and wander back down the hall.

The old "undress-till-naked-and-then-dress-and-pretend-the-whole-thing-was-natural" move.

After giving her this scenario, I asked her, "What would you do?"

Her response surprised me.  "I wouldn't do anything," she said.






"To see what he would do next."

That astounded me, and I said so.

I had to find out more.  "So the next time he comes into your office . . ." I began.

She cut me off--in a tone of warning--by saying, "I would immediately ask, 'Are you going to take your clothes off again?'"

I would never have predictable any of those responses.

Sunday, December 2, 2012

Then I Went to the Zoo

This all-black dress covers everything except the face.  Very standard.  (I don't mean to imply that these ladies are animals at the zoo.)


No clue what this animal is, but judging by his racing stripes, I bet he's fast.

This dude seemed to know I was taking his picture.

Also not zoo animals.  These dudes were holding hands, linking pinky with forefinger.  Same-sex hand holding seems more common than men and women holding hands.



These cheetahs were lying on their backs and rolling from side to side like housecats at play.  One dude rolled into another dude, and they started wrestling.

Fun weekend.

Saturday, December 1, 2012

Goal Achieved!

I've tried two of these TED-inspired 30-day goals.

October Goal: Write fiction for 50 hours

October Result: FAILURE

November Goal: No alcohol for the month

November Result: GREAT SUCCESS

I had finished my last beer on Halloween sometime around 11:58 p.m.

I had my first beer of three on December 1st at 12:02 a.m. while watching This Is Spinal Tap.

I haven't decided what my December goal will be yet.  If there will be one.  I'm traveling to Borneo from Deccember 14th until after the new year, so I'm not sure if I want to try a quick two-week goal before I go.  Suggestions?

If I can't think of anything, I'll just hold off till January.