One problem with living and working in the UAE nine months of the year is that you have no choice when it comes to buying a new laptop. The laptops that are available there are old and overpriced, and ordering from an online laptop seller leads to high shipping costs. So when I came home to the States, I did my research and decided to order the Pavilion DV7 7012nr laptop from HP.com. I figured its high-resolution screen and excellent processor would give me a good laptop to play games with when I am bored off my ass in the UAE for this coming school year.
Well, it arrived and I promptly bought a game for it--Skryim--which looked awesome. Just one problem with it though, the space bar. Every third or fourth time I tapped the space bar, nothing happened.
This led to sentencesthat looked likethis.
I thought, Well, it's no big deal, I'm hitting the space bar too softly. But no. I found a dead spot on the space bar that would not register regardless of how firmly I pressed it.
This led me to call HP technical assistance a grand total of four times. During the first call, which lasted somewhere between 1 and 2 hours, they eventually decided that they would mail me a new keyboard along with instructions for installing it. Okay, fine. Playing Skyrim didn't require me to use the space bar anyway. However, I knew that I would eventually need to get it fixed.
The box arrived. I opened it and found the keyboard . . . with no installation instructions.
Easy fix, I figured. I'll just call them back. On call two, the lady who answered told me four things, which I would like to analyze just a bit.
1. HP doesn't have instructions to install a keyboard.
2. I can get the instructions to install the keyboard at the local HP store.
3. She does not have address information for the local HP store.
4. She is unable to transfer me to someone else, anyone else.
Concerning #1: If HP doesn't have instructions concerning how to install my keyboard, then how do HP's employees install HP's keyboards?
Concerning #2: How can I get keyboard-installation instructions--which the same rep spent 2 minutes insisting did not exist--at the "local HP store," which does not exist?
Concerning #3: Isn't it a big hint that the local HP store does not exist if a rep for HP does not know where it is located?
Concerning #4: During my first call, the rep transferred me to someone else. Is this rep truly so stupid that she doesn't know how to transfer a fucking phone call?
A third call ensued, during which the rep insisted that he would do two things. He would (1) call me back within 2 hours with instructions on how to install my keyboard and (2) send me keyboard-installation instructions via email.
Neither of those things happened.
So finally, I made call number four. This is call number four in its entirety (removing the button-pushing and initial identification BS).
Rep: How can I help you?
Me: I want a full refund.
Rep: You did not buy the laptop within 21 days.
?
Me: I bought it 6 days ago.
Rep: You did not buy it from HP website.
?
Me: Yes, I did.
Rep: I will transfer you to customer service (said the customer service rep).
???
Then I heard a click, a couple of rings, and then a recording which stated that customer service was closed.
So basically he hung up on me.
Needless to say, I am returning my laptop to HP for a full refund. I sent it today. But hey, if you have about six hours of free time spread out over eight days, I highly recommend that you buy a defective laptop from HP and then try to deal with their HP tech specialists.
The only funny thing that I managed to salvage from the experience was that all of the tech specialists had strong Indian accents but identified themselves as John, Alice, John, and Tom. Gold.
Well, it arrived and I promptly bought a game for it--Skryim--which looked awesome. Just one problem with it though, the space bar. Every third or fourth time I tapped the space bar, nothing happened.
This led to sentencesthat looked likethis.
I thought, Well, it's no big deal, I'm hitting the space bar too softly. But no. I found a dead spot on the space bar that would not register regardless of how firmly I pressed it.
This led me to call HP technical assistance a grand total of four times. During the first call, which lasted somewhere between 1 and 2 hours, they eventually decided that they would mail me a new keyboard along with instructions for installing it. Okay, fine. Playing Skyrim didn't require me to use the space bar anyway. However, I knew that I would eventually need to get it fixed.
The box arrived. I opened it and found the keyboard . . . with no installation instructions.
Easy fix, I figured. I'll just call them back. On call two, the lady who answered told me four things, which I would like to analyze just a bit.
1. HP doesn't have instructions to install a keyboard.
2. I can get the instructions to install the keyboard at the local HP store.
3. She does not have address information for the local HP store.
4. She is unable to transfer me to someone else, anyone else.
Concerning #1: If HP doesn't have instructions concerning how to install my keyboard, then how do HP's employees install HP's keyboards?
Concerning #2: How can I get keyboard-installation instructions--which the same rep spent 2 minutes insisting did not exist--at the "local HP store," which does not exist?
Concerning #3: Isn't it a big hint that the local HP store does not exist if a rep for HP does not know where it is located?
Concerning #4: During my first call, the rep transferred me to someone else. Is this rep truly so stupid that she doesn't know how to transfer a fucking phone call?
A third call ensued, during which the rep insisted that he would do two things. He would (1) call me back within 2 hours with instructions on how to install my keyboard and (2) send me keyboard-installation instructions via email.
Neither of those things happened.
So finally, I made call number four. This is call number four in its entirety (removing the button-pushing and initial identification BS).
Rep: How can I help you?
Me: I want a full refund.
Rep: You did not buy the laptop within 21 days.
?
Me: I bought it 6 days ago.
Rep: You did not buy it from HP website.
?
Me: Yes, I did.
Rep: I will transfer you to customer service (said the customer service rep).
???
Then I heard a click, a couple of rings, and then a recording which stated that customer service was closed.
So basically he hung up on me.
Needless to say, I am returning my laptop to HP for a full refund. I sent it today. But hey, if you have about six hours of free time spread out over eight days, I highly recommend that you buy a defective laptop from HP and then try to deal with their HP tech specialists.
The only funny thing that I managed to salvage from the experience was that all of the tech specialists had strong Indian accents but identified themselves as John, Alice, John, and Tom. Gold.
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