Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Quincy; Giving Students Fs

Quincy is moving along a bit ahead of schedule.  I managed three episodes last week instead of two--two of them being early in the week and one on Saturday--and I have already something "mostly done" for this Thursday and Saturday.  A character or two from Quincy's past will soon be resurfacing.

I gave quizzes the week before last--which explained why I was so busy last week.  Grading quizzes, especially essay quizzes, has to be the worst job-related activity that I can imagine.  Anyhoo, as expected, many students didn't study, a fact that is exposed by the essay format more than any other format.  No guessing!  No hoping that circling D will be the right answer!  That's right, kids, it's your brain, your pen, and a blank page.

Good luck with that.

After the first quiz, the morale in all of my classes always takes a (massive) hit.  Early expectations of great success are squashed elephant-meets-cockroach style.  What matters to me is how the students take it.  I'm fine with these reactions:

1.  Pouting silently
2.  Begging for an easier test, and then pouting silently
3.  Complaining about fairness, and then pouting silently

They can hate me secretly all they like.  Being a university teacher is not the job description for a person who values being liked.  No, the only reaction that bothers me are the ones who opt for choice #4:

4.  Slump in their chairs, make wiseass remarks, talk constantly, and otherwise distract the class

Yes, some of these university students act like junior high kids.  When that happens, I notice it once, and then I plan the part of class that I like to call "The Showdown."  The showdown only happens once a semester, if at all.

Because for some reason, these kids don't think that I'm going to call them on their bullshit.  Maybe it's because I choose to be polite most of the time.

Anyway, my usual method involves me asking them lots of questions.

Q: Why are you talking?

A: Who?

Q: You.  Why are you talking?

A (silence).

Q: You are aware that some students are trying to pay attention?

A (silence).

Q: And that their first language is Arabic?

A: Yes.

Q: And that when you speak in Arabic, they hear Arabic.  They hear you.  They can't hear me.  Are you aware of that?

A: I'll be quiet (or something like that).

Q: Do you realize that many students want you to shut up, but they are too nice to say that to you?

A: (silence).

Q: By talking, you are announcing to the class that they should listen to you instead of me.  Do you see that?

A: (silence).

Q: You are announcing, "I am more important than everyone else here."  You are saying, "I am more important than this class.  I am more important than every student in this class."

A: (wanting it desperately to end).

Q: Is it true?  Are you more important than everyone here?

A: (silence).


So, that strategy always works.  Or I just go with Option B.  Option B involves me telling them to leave and to never come back.  They apologize after class, and I invite them to return to the next class.

Extending the moment for a couple of minutes, with long pauses, leaves the students with a memory.  And throughout I make sure not to raise my voice.  I just allow for a long silence before I ask the next question.  Anyhoo, after the Showdown, student behavior tends to be pretty good.

Outplayed, bitch.

3 comments:

  1. You won a bracelet in class management.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I wish I had prof's like you back when I had, like, profs

    ReplyDelete
  3. I haven't had to use the Socratic Method of Embarrassment yet this semester, so I'm crossing my fingers.

    ReplyDelete