Saturday, February 2, 2013

Roundup

I read a great post on mudwig's blog yesterday called submentals, which describes his conversation with the title character.  The best lines were his response to the submental's "thinking outside the box" and also how he'd like to end the conversation, which turns out to be my own fantasy for ending a conversation with an idiot.  The video at the bottom called "Bullshit Man" is a 50-second gem.

In another part of the blogosphere, grrouchie recently managed the near-impossible feat of (1) reading 121 comic books during the month of January and (2) not losing his girlfriend in the process.  If we were at a racetrack and 121 Comics and Not Losing GF were horses in the daily double, a winning ticket would pay $417.30.

The Super Bowl is almost upon us.  As I've mentioned before in earlier blog posts, I know nearly nothing about the Ravens or the 49ers.  But in my opinion, the 49ers are a steal at -4.  Final score: 49ers 23, Ravens 13.

During the matchup, there will be:

Safeties: zero

Total Interceptions: 3

Total Rushing Touchdowns: 3

Total Penalties: 13

Total Passing Yards: 464

Total Rushing Yards: 217

All of these are absolute locks, unless you pay for the premium package, which is offered for a limited time only, in which case the final results will be:

49ers 44, Ravens 30

Safeties: 6

Total Interceptions: zero

Total Rushing Touchdowns: 8

Total Penalties: 2

Total Passing Yards: 862

Total Rushing Yards: 8

Yes, that's right.  Even though there will be only 8 total yards rushing combined for both teams, there will be 8 rushing touchdowns.  Once again, all of these picks are 100% locks.

Of course, if you opt for the diamond package, then the sure locks will be all of the picks for the premium package divided by 2 (as well as the final score: 49ers 22, Ravens 15).

And finally, the Nun-on-Crack package, on sale for a single cigarette, provides the winner with a final score of Ravens 92, 49ers 2.

I provide all of these absolute locks with a confidence level of 0.0043%.

7 comments:

  1. Yeah - I think my chick is a winner.
    Though it would have been nice to hold that $400 ticket to cash in dag nabbit

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  2. thank you kindly! i'm lumping on the standard package.

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  3. Wise choice. The majority of experts on yahoo are picking the Ravens. Bunch of shuffling boobs.

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  4. Your odds making sounds like fun, but I think maybe we could take this a step further. Maybe you could set a line on how many times grrouchie can leave the seat up in one month and keep his lady friend. Or, complete "x" amount of video games in one month and so on. What say you grrouch? Could we have a little fun with this?

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    1. lol. I think you've got something there.

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    2. Down!

      also replied to new post discussing this

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