The elevator in my building at work had a sign on it this morning:
LIFT UNDER MAINTENANCE
Okay, broken elevator. Fine. Underneath the announcement was a parenthetical:
(We provide maintenance so the lift will serve you better)
I'll be the first to admit that I am overly analytical, but this second sentence got me thinking.
How did the lift serve me before it was broken? As far as I can recall, I would enter it, push the button for my floor, it would take me there, and I would exit it.
Now they claim is that the lift will serve me better. Hmm! What do they have in mind? Mini bar? Not likely in the United Arab Emirates. Massage hands? Cushioned seats? An elevator operator? A Snickers bar atop a marble stand? Television built into the wall? Rockabilly band full of midgets? A magician performing one card trick per visit? A dirty joke teller? A person whose job it is to greet me with the words "You look fantastic"? A miniature zoo? Free lunch?
I await their improvements with anticipation.