Final Exams

I've said before that many of the students in the UAE are rude and seem to have a comically exaggerated sense of entitlement.  I want to give you an example from today's final exam.

They received an essay exam.  One of the questions required them to do some calculations.  Obviously, I had sent a couple of emails reminding them to bring a calculator.

Student raises his hand.  I walk over.  He points at the question requiring calculations and says, "How to do this?"

I respond, "With a calculator."

He says accusingly, "I don't have a calculator."  He holds his hands up as proof.  His point is clear: It is my fault that he didn't bring a calculator.

I say, "Do your calculations by hand.  On paper."

He says, "I don't have paper!"  He is trying to gain steam.

I reply, "What is your test made out of?"

This appears to baffle him.  And I think, If that comment baffles him, then this dude should've been aborted.


In his dreamworld, I should have gotten him to bed early.  I should have read him a bedtime story and set his alarm.  Then when he woke up, I should have made him a nice breakfast and thrown some coffee down his throat.  And after dressing him, I should've put some pens and a calculator in his pocket and drove him to campus.


Then I should've found him a seat and told him to sit.  At just that moment, I would've realized that I forgot to remind him to take a dump!  And at exactly that moment, he would've shit himself.  And then he'd turn to me and say accusingly, "I don't have toilet paper."