Have you heard of the nutbag Varg Vikernes?
If anyone deserves to have an adjective precede his name at all times, it is the nutbag Varg Vikernes. Or perhaps the fucktard George W. Bush. These two are running neck and neck in the race for the mandatory adjective. Nutbag. Fucktard. Nutbag. Fucktard. And at the wire . . . photo finish!
To start, the nutbag Varg Vikernes makes shit music.
One of his more recent albums, Darkness, produced under the band name Burzum, has been reviewed as a piece of work "as pointless as it is bad." That's being really fucking kind. It's like saying Paris Hilton is a little slow. But that review, despite being understated, pretty much applies to whatever shit he produces.
But his bad music isn't the most notable part of the guy. He stabbed a bandmate to death in 1993 and got the maximum prison sentence under Norwegian law. He was paroled in 2009.
Check him out.
Let the picture speak for itself.
The worst part? Even murder might not even be his biggest claim to fame. In addition to making shitty music and stabbing bandmates, this nutbag likes to run around burning down churches. He was convicted of four counts of arson--four churches--and was suspected in others.
Now, if a regular run-of-the-mill arsonist liked to run around burning down churches, he'd probably try to show a little tact or strategic thinking. Perhaps. But not this nutbag. The cover of his Aske EP, which was released in the midst of his arsonism, looks like this:
In case you're wondering, that's a picture of a church. That has been burned to a crisp. By. An. Arsonist.
That album cover puts him firmly in the running for the Dumbest Nutbag Alive Award.
In 2003, while on short leave from his minimum-security prison--wait, let me stop here. There are major problems with how that last sentence started. While on short leave? From a minimum-security prison? Get with it, Norway. Christ.
In 2003, while on short leave from his minimum-security prison, the nutbag Varg Vikernes failed to return. He was found shortly thereafter in a stolen Volvo with the following things in the car with him:
A laptop
A compass
A GPS device
Numerous maps
A fake passport
A handgun
Numerous large knives
A gas mask
Camouflage clothing
AG3 automatic rifle
Aside from this goofiness, he flipflops on the Nazi thing. On Monday, he's a Nazi. On Tuesday, he's no longer a Nazi. Wednesday, Nazi again. The Nazi choice keeps him up at night.
In any case, he's out of prison. He's making albums. The last one got a 3.3 score on pitchfork.com out of 10.
Another reviewer once introduced him as the "murdering bigot fuckhead Varg Vikernes." I like it. I like it a lot.
It beats the hell out of "nutbag."
If anyone deserves to have an adjective precede his name at all times, it is the nutbag Varg Vikernes. Or perhaps the fucktard George W. Bush. These two are running neck and neck in the race for the mandatory adjective. Nutbag. Fucktard. Nutbag. Fucktard. And at the wire . . . photo finish!
To start, the nutbag Varg Vikernes makes shit music.
One of his more recent albums, Darkness, produced under the band name Burzum, has been reviewed as a piece of work "as pointless as it is bad." That's being really fucking kind. It's like saying Paris Hilton is a little slow. But that review, despite being understated, pretty much applies to whatever shit he produces.
But his bad music isn't the most notable part of the guy. He stabbed a bandmate to death in 1993 and got the maximum prison sentence under Norwegian law. He was paroled in 2009.
Check him out.
Let the picture speak for itself.
The worst part? Even murder might not even be his biggest claim to fame. In addition to making shitty music and stabbing bandmates, this nutbag likes to run around burning down churches. He was convicted of four counts of arson--four churches--and was suspected in others.
Now, if a regular run-of-the-mill arsonist liked to run around burning down churches, he'd probably try to show a little tact or strategic thinking. Perhaps. But not this nutbag. The cover of his Aske EP, which was released in the midst of his arsonism, looks like this:
In case you're wondering, that's a picture of a church. That has been burned to a crisp. By. An. Arsonist.
That album cover puts him firmly in the running for the Dumbest Nutbag Alive Award.
In 2003, while on short leave from his minimum-security prison--wait, let me stop here. There are major problems with how that last sentence started. While on short leave? From a minimum-security prison? Get with it, Norway. Christ.
In 2003, while on short leave from his minimum-security prison, the nutbag Varg Vikernes failed to return. He was found shortly thereafter in a stolen Volvo with the following things in the car with him:
A laptop
A compass
A GPS device
Numerous maps
A fake passport
A handgun
Numerous large knives
A gas mask
Camouflage clothing
AG3 automatic rifle
Aside from this goofiness, he flipflops on the Nazi thing. On Monday, he's a Nazi. On Tuesday, he's no longer a Nazi. Wednesday, Nazi again. The Nazi choice keeps him up at night.
In any case, he's out of prison. He's making albums. The last one got a 3.3 score on pitchfork.com out of 10.
Another reviewer once introduced him as the "murdering bigot fuckhead Varg Vikernes." I like it. I like it a lot.
It beats the hell out of "nutbag."
how on earth did it get a score as high as 3.3?
ReplyDeletethough to be fair i haven't listened to it. (do i need to? he is the murdering bigot fuckhead nutbag Varg)