Total Failure

$1000 on Celtics +7 at New York Knicks -- PUSH

$500 on Warriors +7 1/2 at Denver Nuggets -- I WIN

$100 on Nets -4 1/2 vs. Chicago Bulls -- I WIN

$5 on Grizzlies +5 at Los Angeles Clippers -- YOU LOSE

My recommended bets for Saturday's games were above.  The Celtics-Knicks game was a push.  Denver failed to cover the spread, so our Warriors won.  Our Nets covered, stomping Chicago.  

However, your Grizzlies got destroyed, and you lost five dollars.

So far, we are +$595, which could have been +$1,605.  I blame you.

* * * 

Predictions on Sunday's games:

$250 on Hawks +6 1/2 at Indiana Pacers.  I don't know any players on the Hawks, except for Josh Smith.  Their anonymity intrigues me.  Therefore, I pick them.

$412 on Lakers +8 1/2 at San Antonio Spurs.  I hate the Lakers more than any other team.  I don't want them to get blown out, because it won't hurt them as much as a one-point loss.  Therefore, I pick the Lakers because I want to intensify their suffering as they lose by a Tim Duncan free throw.  Is Tim Duncan still on the Spurs?  Fuck you, Lakers.

$5 on Heat -13 vs. Milwaukee Bucks.  I can't name a single player on the Bucks.  That would intrigue me, if the Bucks were the Hawks.  Instead, the Bucks are the Bucks.  That makes me uncomfortable, because the Bucks are from Milwaukee, and I'm not sure which state Milwaukee is in, or even if they are located in the United States.  Because the Bucks might be Canadian, I pick the Heat.

$631 on Rockets +10 at Oklahoma City Thunder.  The Thunder are going to win every playoff game they play in this series by four points.  Therefore, I take the Rockets.  Because of plus ten.  Which leaves six.  Which is good.  If we pick the Rockets, that is.  And we do.  Logic!