I took way too many English classes during my undergrad days, writing dozens of essays about novels and poems written by dead white men. I always wanted to finish at least one of these essays with the following one-sentence paragraph: "In conclusion, the essay is over."
Hopefully, the rest of the essay would be so strong that they would have to give me an A. It seemed like one of the only ways to trash talk in an essay.
Or perhaps even better: "In conclusion, you gave me an A."
Even today, this idea has a strong appeal to me. Maybe it means that I have not matured in the intervening years. I'd like to hope that that is true.
My girlfriend is on Huffington Post. She likes to read through the political section and then to make comments. As you might've noticed from earlier posts, she absolutely hates Romney.
Anyhoo, I had just woken up and walked into the living room when I saw her on HuffPost writing out a reply. She was replying to a comment that said that Romney had "higher cognitive powers." My girlfriend seemed stumped. Her fingers were poised on the keyboard. She said, "What are two things that don't go together?"
My reply, after being conscious for only about 45 seconds: "A monkey in a pink suit with a corncob pipe?"
"What?"
Now I felt more confident about it. "A monkey in a pink suit with a corncob pipe."
She paused. She said, "That won't work here. Got anything else?"
"Nope. Just a monkey in a pink suit with a corncob pipe. And I bet that image will be in my head all day long. Thanks for asking."
In conclusion, this story is over.
Hopefully, the rest of the essay would be so strong that they would have to give me an A. It seemed like one of the only ways to trash talk in an essay.
Or perhaps even better: "In conclusion, you gave me an A."
Even today, this idea has a strong appeal to me. Maybe it means that I have not matured in the intervening years. I'd like to hope that that is true.
My girlfriend is on Huffington Post. She likes to read through the political section and then to make comments. As you might've noticed from earlier posts, she absolutely hates Romney.
Anyhoo, I had just woken up and walked into the living room when I saw her on HuffPost writing out a reply. She was replying to a comment that said that Romney had "higher cognitive powers." My girlfriend seemed stumped. Her fingers were poised on the keyboard. She said, "What are two things that don't go together?"
My reply, after being conscious for only about 45 seconds: "A monkey in a pink suit with a corncob pipe?"
"What?"
Now I felt more confident about it. "A monkey in a pink suit with a corncob pipe."
She paused. She said, "That won't work here. Got anything else?"
"Nope. Just a monkey in a pink suit with a corncob pipe. And I bet that image will be in my head all day long. Thanks for asking."
In conclusion, this story is over.
A-
ReplyDelete(the minus is because i pictured a monkey in a pink suit with a corncob pipe, and now it kinda does go together a little bit.)
You know, you're right. I've been picturing him on and off all day now, and it works.
ReplyDelete