Before nightmare began: -$1,760
$2,200 on Heat -14 1/2 vs. Milwaukee Bucks--Oops
$330 on Celtics +6 1/2 at. New York Knicks--Faceplant
$110 on Nuggets -8 vs. Golden State Warriors--Another loss
Yes, that's right, you have lost with every single pick over the last two days. Congrats.
After nightmare: -$4,400
Time to kidnap the small child of a rich family. Once you get the ransom, it's time to Constanza. That's right; I'm going to decide on the winning pick, and then I'm going to choose the opposite team. And if I intended to bet a lot, I will double-Constanza and bet a little. If I meant to bet a little, I will bet a lot.
In this way, I will be risking the maximum money on the games in which I have the least faith.
$220 on Oklahoma City -11 1/2 vs. Houston Astros. I feel completely convinced that Houston is due for a big game. This is a lock, worth betting the value of an upper-end used car a lower-income small child. Instead, we double-Constanza by selecting Oklahoma City for a small amount.
$5500 on Pacers -7 vs. Atlanta Braves. I don't know what a Pacer is. I also feel--for no apparent reason--that Atlanta is due, but this is only a vague feeling. Therefore, because I feel that Atlanta will win with almost no confidence, I am confidently placing my highest bet so far on the Pacers, a team that I couldn't care less about.
$1100 on Spurs -8 1/2 vs. Los Angeles Lakers. I have a fair-to-middling feeling that the Lakers will finally get into this series, or that's what they will think until they lose by a point or two. Because this is what I honestly think will happen, I choose the Spurs in what is likely to be a blowout.
If this doesn't work, we'll just reverse Martingale our money back . . . or go completely broke by the weekend.
$2,200 on Heat -14 1/2 vs. Milwaukee Bucks--Oops
$330 on Celtics +6 1/2 at. New York Knicks--Faceplant
$110 on Nuggets -8 vs. Golden State Warriors--Another loss
Yes, that's right, you have lost with every single pick over the last two days. Congrats.
After nightmare: -$4,400
Time to kidnap the small child of a rich family. Once you get the ransom, it's time to Constanza. That's right; I'm going to decide on the winning pick, and then I'm going to choose the opposite team. And if I intended to bet a lot, I will double-Constanza and bet a little. If I meant to bet a little, I will bet a lot.
In this way, I will be risking the maximum money on the games in which I have the least faith.
$220 on Oklahoma City -11 1/2 vs. Houston Astros. I feel completely convinced that Houston is due for a big game. This is a lock, worth betting the value of an upper-end used car a lower-income small child. Instead, we double-Constanza by selecting Oklahoma City for a small amount.
$5500 on Pacers -7 vs. Atlanta Braves. I don't know what a Pacer is. I also feel--for no apparent reason--that Atlanta is due, but this is only a vague feeling. Therefore, because I feel that Atlanta will win with almost no confidence, I am confidently placing my highest bet so far on the Pacers, a team that I couldn't care less about.
$1100 on Spurs -8 1/2 vs. Los Angeles Lakers. I have a fair-to-middling feeling that the Lakers will finally get into this series, or that's what they will think until they lose by a point or two. Because this is what I honestly think will happen, I choose the Spurs in what is likely to be a blowout.
If this doesn't work, we'll just reverse Martingale our money back . . . or go completely broke by the weekend.
I don't know what a Pacer is.
ReplyDeleteI think it's another Canadian hockey player who plays defense.
It can't be anything American. How long has the Canadian infiltration of the NBA been going on?
Deletecan't stand ya.
ReplyDeletegl us.
Me neither. And bad luck us. Pure Constanza.
DeleteSo i think this means that I was right to bet against you on one of the games with your last set of picks.
ReplyDeleteMe 1 - you Constanza
You Constanza'd before I Constanza'd. But now that I am Constanza'ing, is your correct play to play along or go against me?
DeleteWhat would a Constanza do when faced with a Constanza?
I'm going to write the script and try unsuccessfully to sell the rights to Jerry Seinfeld, Larry David, and the Wachowski brothers.